Soooooo............ this journal will be full of SAP so don't read it if you don't care.






Sooooo on Saturday, I went to Brandon's party. Actually scratch that, I woke up at 4:30 to go to some...thing with my parents. And we stayed there til about 12. Anyways for like the last 3 hours of it, Lily and I spent in the car. Jackie bought one of those things where the horses head is on like, a stick LOL and we were so bored that we were blasting gangster music and making the horse head dance and spin out the window LMFAO. People's reactions were just HILARIOUSSSSSS. Ohgod I wish I had a camera. Yeah we're pretty much retarded.

Then we played Professor Layton like all morning haha.
We got home at 12 and I rushes to get ready after cleaning the house because Brandon's party is SERIOUS BUISNESS. I tried on my purple dress and it wouldnt zip up because I'm fat. No jk lol, it actually fit me better than it did last time I wore it on my birthday ROFL. The zipper was like broken.
ANYWAYS I'm in the car and I was really nervous auuuuuuuughhhhhhhh. I was pracitcally shaking.
Well I got in and Vic didn't even want to say hi! >:I His excuse is he was "in a hurry for the other party". Yeah, my ass.
Anyways, I go in and am greeted by his little sister, Maggie~!

He...introduced me to like EVERYONE THAT MATTERED LOL;;;;;;; And I'm like what are we, married? ROFL;;; I didn't mind though, I was REALLY shy hahahaa. I hardly spoke a word the whole party.

But it just felt weird. Being alone with him. It was amazing at the same time. If I could relive any moment 100 times it would have been that. Honestly. I got to laugh with our friends and play Street Fighter and King of Fighters. I gave him my poster from art class that I worked forever on as a present. I also drew him a card with Professah Layton on it LOL. It was so corny but I DON'T CARE!!!! They had a chocolate fountain, but I didn't eat anything. I was too shy. I don't like people watching me eat ROFL WOW SEIMEI MUCH?! Haha but Brandon is so cute when he has food all over his face. What a fatty.

And towards the end, we got some time alone in his living room... and well let's just say it was HEARTWARMING. We both talked about him leaving for Florida for college, and we both cried. Well I cried, which made him cry. Because, honestly, if he REALLY wants to go to college there, I feel bad from holding him back from his dreams, you know? But then again, long distances REALLY don't work out a lot of the time... so I don't want him to leave. I'd rather have him close to me and hardly get to see him then to have him all the way across the country and never get to see him. Plus, timezones would screw everything up too. x( I think I'm siding with asking him not to leave, is that bad? What should I do...? He layed his head on my lap and told me, "I need you to need me..." and I just held him in my arms. ;A; Wow we're gay.

And then we got to take pictureeees!! : ) LOL His mommy treated them like prom pictures LOL;;;;;; And his family is so sweet~ They were so nice to me I FELT LIKE THE FIANCE ROFL.
Except his dad IS as intimidating as he said ROFL. I don't think he was very impressed with me. @_@


When I got home, I sat there on my couch, kind of in a daze. I guess I was a little shell-shocked. I was so in denial. I was like "Wow.......was... that really the last time I'll get to be with him in a long time..?"
And then all I did was think of him at the other party. :[ And play Professor Layton.
Sundayyyy: Lily and I went to Chio's house and walked to Target. Then we walked to In-N-Out like fatties. 8) Chio met her SOUL MATE there lmfao. Just cuz the guy put her order in a bag even after she said we were eating-in but we changed our minds. Ahhh.

Then later that night we got Chio addicted to Professah Layton~ lol...and I started to draw a picture but gave up. Then the three of us had GIRL TALK ^0^ and went to bed. Chio kept feeling me up too ROFL;;;

This morning, I woke up and I was just...so..blah. It's like I had no reason to wake up anymore. Every Monday was a typical Monday, you know, the whole "AUGH I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL" but what kept me going was that I would get to see a beautiful boy after every period.. That's what kept me through the day. I didn't savor it enough. I tried, but I feel like I didn't. I feel like I could lose him anyday now. I know he's faithful but nobody's perfect. Or maybe he is.
I trust him not to hurt me. I really do. But sometimes I feel like I'm not as affectionate as he'd like me to be lol;;; I don't want to be too clingy, because I know that messes stuff up... but he likes me being clingy, so that's ok right?

I've been having friend problems too. Nothing new or too big, but enough to make me think when I see them online, and enough to the point that I don't really know what to say to them anymore because I'm just tired of the way they treat me. Maybe I'm so bothered by the fact that they're happy without me in their life anymore. Well I'm happy for them. I guess I'll get the fuck over it. I need to. I can't let it bother me anymore.



.........also
Deviant ~yuyufan13 Menu | Upgrade Now | 137 Deviations, 128 Messages


wtf guys.




OH AND HETALIA EP 19 REVIEW
oh hay Canada y so invisible


Ohyeah! I beat Professah Layton. WHAT A ...AMAZING TOUCHING STORY. SNIFF. Layton/Luke gives me a boner. No jk. But nah really LOL you'd think they'd think Layton is a pedophile or something, with having 2 children following him around and whatnot. LOL;;;;; just sayin.


FUCK I LOVE THIS SONG.
It tears at my heartstrings. I'm serious.

I love this kid!!
hi i'm kit i write too much